Mini Michael Howards

I drew quite a lot of little fellas with thick glasses and combovers the other day and had no idea who they were or where they came from - until I realised they looked exactly like Michael Howard, former leader of the Tories. So here are two very small, slightly naked Michael Howards looking at each other.

Octopus

This is a very well brought up octopus. It probably know the right way to hold a variety of cutlery implements, the proper way to address a retired archbishop and the names of all the kings of England, including all the German ones.

Singing delight

A man sings, a chicken with a chick on it's head listens attentively. The chicken could either be extremely polite, entranced by the performance or completely deaf. Hard to tell, really.

Chaps with hats, part 2

Now, this is what we're talking about. A short, monobrowed and slightly psychotic little fella and his mildly puzzled friend. Both wearing flower hats, of course.

Chaps with hats, part 1

They're clearly annoyed. I'm guessing the tall one because he's got an exceedingly outdated floppy fringe/goatee combination, and the short one, well... because he's short. It could always be because they've got no clothes, though.

Very happy little man

A little bit too happy, perhaps...

Napoleonic dudes 04

In the 19th century French toffs top trumps this man would be like Sócrates on the 1982 world cup top trumps: top of every category, but for goalkeeping. Talleyrand, managed not only to survive but made a pretty good living before and during the French Revolution, through to Napoleon's reign and a few kings aftewards. Notice how he keeps his elegant countenance even when performing a little dance.

Napoleonic dudes 03

Not a dude this one. This is supposed to be the big man's missus, Josephine. On the floor we see either a very small lion, a carefully tonsured poodle or one of those funny puppets that street puppeteers make out of used plastic cups and string. Hard to tell.

Napoleonic dudes 02

Fouché, who was kind of around right after the Revolution, through to Napoleon's reign and then afterwards in the Bourbon restoration (not to be confused with the end of the alcohol prohibition in the US).

Napoleonic dudes 01

Having drawn the man himself, logic dictated I should draw some of his friends. We start here with Murat, not only one of the little fella's general but also his brother-in-law. Notice the menacing brow and unsheathed blade (it might be a spoon, actually).

L'empereur Bonaparte

For some reason I drew our grumpy little Corsican friend in what I can only assume was a grumpy little meeting. Unlike the famously mercurial prince, though, most of the meetings I go to tend to be more like a little old lady called Gladys, from Hazelmere. Nice, slightly bumbling, ultimately inefficient and mildly irritating after a little while.

Fat Ronaldo

Once the world's greatest footballer, now a (very) tubby, middle aged, man of leisure. Still, producing what is probably the best mini-afro to be worn since the late Seventies is no mean achievement.

Geometric friends

A triangle and a square. One angry, one mildly puzzled. What could they be looking at? A circle? A line? I think that amount of inconvenience would more likely be caused by a dodecahedron.

German nobles, part 4

This is much more modern, I'm guessing late 19th century. Nothing like a man with a cane and cravat.

German nobles, part 3

A more gentle fella than the last one. Maybe some sort of late middle-age Burgundian troubadour, or an estate agent. Hard to tell.

German nobles, part 2

This one seems ready for war. He might have trouble hitting something with his stubby arms, but you never know, so better watch out.

German nobles, part 1

This is the first in an inexplicable series of ancient German noblemen I drew on a particularly boring meeting. I guess he's Bavarian.

Gaúchos 2

Three more gaúchos. Not so lonesome, I guess.

Gaúchos 1

A menacing lonesome cowboy from the frontier between Brazil and Argentina.

Aloof bird

It's hard to tell if it's a genuine lack of interest in worldly things or an affectation, but he clearly isn't interested on whatever might be going on. He and the rooster below could ignore each other in a contest. Can't call who would win.

Solemn rooster

This is a very formal male chicken. Which is not necessarily a bad thing.

Sunflower lions

Butterfluffs 3

Butterfluffs 2

Butterfluffs

I think they're little butterflies made out of something like sponge cake.

Historical figures, part 4

Chairman Mao, complete with flag and baseball cap.

Historical figures, part 3

Although he doesn't look anything like Churchill, this is most definitely Churchill. I wonder if the lovely TV bulldog is more famous than the old politician nowadays and, more  importantly, could the dog have won the war any faster?

Historical figures, part 2

This nice gentleman was supposed to be Leonidas, but ended up looking more like Pythagoras.

2 Queens

Two very sorry attempts to draw our lovely sovereign. Had I drawn this a couple hundred years ago it'd be the Tyburn tree for me.

Historical figures, part 1

Let's say goodbye to the chickens for a while. As a natural transition between fowl and great personages from history here we have Henry VIII.

Clever bird

This is a very clever bird. Too clever, actually.

Two fat birds

Funny looking birds

They either very tall seagulls or very young pterodactyl chicks. Only time and the services of somebody that can draw properly will tell.

More random birds

They don't seem to be speaking to each other. Maybe the short bird's hat is putting the tall one off, sometimes one can be too formal.

Curved beaks

I'm not sure the tall bird can see the little one...

Mexican chicken

Skinny chickens

They should be banned from fashion shows.

More fat chickens

The third one from the right isn't really fat, but maybe her BMI is a bit high.

One fat chicken

octopi

Big lady octopus or big octopus dressed like a lady? I think the little fella is wondering the same thing.

Picnic

Happy farming

The farmer and his missus seem very impressed with their pumpkins. I'm much more impressed about the fact they managed to pick them up with no arms.

Totem

Is that a pepperoni pizza under the whale or a pepperoni pizza with extra whale topping?

Hairy fairy

Another one in the very long, very boring and mildly unsettling 'what I would look like if I were something else' series. Were I a fairy , this is what I'd look like . It's clearly a good thing I'm not, then.

Not amused pig

Man on hill

The sign look suspicious. Either a golf sale or an estate agent's sign. Maybe it's an estate agent sale sign.

Man with bird on his head...

...or bird with man under his feet. 

Birds 05

Here we go. It was easy to tell this birds thing wasn't going to end well. Sorry if there are any people with a nervous disposition in the room.If it serves as consolation I'm sure he didn't suffer much.

Birds 04

Lady bird tells Mexican outlaw bird that someone has just been killed. This is not good.

Special agent

If fat short birds could join the FBI, this is what they'd look like.